Funeral directors spend their careers looking after everyone else. But when a service turns hostile, who’s looking after you? At IFISS, we think it’s time to talk about the other side of duty of care, specifically the one you owe yourself.
The pressure to always comply
Funeral professionals do this work because they care. You pour yourself into getting every detail right, because you know each service is a celebration of someone’s life and a moment a grieving family will carry with them forever. That deep sense of care is exactly what makes it so hard to step back when things go wrong.
Funerals are, legally, public events. Staff can ask a difficult attendee to leave, but they can’t enforce it. Add to that the fear of a bad review, and many funeral professionals feel they have no choice but to absorb whatever comes their way. Whether that is aggression, abuse, or situations that stretch well beyond anyone’s control, families rarely see the full picture of what staff are dealing with. That doesn’t mean you have to carry it silently.
You’re within your rights
Paramedics don’t stay on an unsafe scene. They withdraw, and they return when it’s safe to do the job. The same principle applies to you. We often think that duty of care is just something your organisation owes the families you serve, but it’s also something you and your organisation owe yourselves and each other. You don’t need a threat to be “serious enough” on paper. If the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, that’s real, and it counts. You’re allowed to step back, protect yourself and your team, and finish the job when it’s safe to do so.
This isn’t about alarm, it’s about permission
Most services go exactly as they should. But when one doesn’t, too many funeral professionals default to pushing through, because pushing through is what the industry has always quietly expected. We want to start a different conversation: one where protecting yourself isn’t seen as letting a family down, but as doing the job properly for the long haul.
Caring for the carer
If any of this feels familiar, we’d love you to reach out. That could be a conversation, or joining our upcoming session on resilience and looking after yourself in this work.
Join us for our Caring for the Carer session
This 30-minute Zoom session is designed for people working across funeral homes, celebrants, audiovisual suppliers, florists, cemeteries, and crematoria. It’s a short, practical conversation about protecting yourself while you care for others.
When: Tuesday 14 July, 10:00 AM – 1110:30 AM
Where: Online via Zoom (link sent after registration)
Cost: $30 per person
To register or find out more, Contact Us
Tailored resilience sessions for your team are also available on request. Just get in touch.